We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
