If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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