Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
It's blow job season.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
