Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
