No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
His hands were made for my vagina.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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