I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
do nipples grow back?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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