so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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