sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
