i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
