So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
