the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
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