How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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