It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
