Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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