The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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