Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
