Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize