"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
