i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
