would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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