Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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