Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
