You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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