Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Randomize
