Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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