did you get engaged???
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
