Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
