What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
My penis needs a shock collar
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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