Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
