hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
