next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
