Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
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Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
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I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...