Texts From Last Night

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  (618): View more from Illinois

  Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??

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  (618): Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking?? http://tfl.nu/g7y8
  Replies (42) Good night (4555) Bad night (1466)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order

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  (847): then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order http://tfl.nu/len1
  Replies (11) Good night (875) Bad night (5445)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around

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  (303): i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around http://tfl.nu/e0gz
  Replies (14) Good night (2183) Bad night (5940)
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  (925): View more from California

  his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.

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  (925): his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch. http://tfl.nu/0vl7
  Replies (74) Good night (3284) Bad night (7874)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.

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  (480): I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name. http://tfl.nu/lmy8
  Replies (6) Good night (1138) Bad night (2635)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.

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  (239): Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different. http://tfl.nu/tl6x
  Replies (4) Good night (2215) Bad night (638)
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  (914): View more from New York

  He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.

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  (914): He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon. http://tfl.nu/hf2o
  Replies (20) Good night (3407) Bad night (636)
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  (858): View more from California

  I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.

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  (858): I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling. http://tfl.nu/biin
  Replies (10) Good night (1361) Bad night (654)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street

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  (954): You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street http://tfl.nu/crjb
  Replies (2) Good night (1081) Bad night (417)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.

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  (910): I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way. http://tfl.nu/yh0e
  Replies (2) Good night (1379) Bad night (445)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth

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  (602): I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth http://tfl.nu/7hav
  Replies (5) Good night (1366) Bad night (484)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?

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  (678): Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail? http://tfl.nu/41r0
  Replies (9) Good night (953) Bad night (477)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.

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  (706): The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina. http://tfl.nu/6jcd
  Replies (10) Good night (2350) Bad night (615)
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  (415): View more from California

  The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.

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  (415): The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican. http://tfl.nu/ke0b
  Replies (9) Good night (1231) Bad night (395)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...

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  (603): I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked... http://tfl.nu/22n2
  Replies (4) Good night (346) Bad night (679)

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