woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.