This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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