So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
