oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
