question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.