I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
