Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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