Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
