it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
