Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
