i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
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