Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
