WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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