So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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