its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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