Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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