I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
