I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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