Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize