Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Randomize
