you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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