HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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