i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
