I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
