get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
