Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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