I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
