i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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