You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
