once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I love having hate sex.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
