I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
We had to coat check the pizza.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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