the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
