is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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