remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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